One day, after picking me up from school my dad offered to take me out to get burgers. I was in my junior year and happy to go out to eat since I was always hungry all the time anyways. We went to one of the local burger places that was better than McDonalds but worse than Five Guys and settled down to eat. During the meal my dad turned to me and said, "Yet, I don't think you should be a writer."
His motives for taking me out became clear. He didn't think I would make any money pursuing a career in writing. "You won't get a job that way." He suggested that I get a real job and just do my writing on the side. At this point I was crying into my burger. He dropped the subject eventually and we went home in silence. I didn't follow his advice. I was determined to be a writer. After high school I went to Emerson College with the intent to get a BFA in Creative Writing. I was bombarded with questions like, "what job can you get with a Creative Writing degree?", and "Are you going to get a job out of college?" For the latter I kept reassuring my parents that yes, I would get a job once I was out of college and that I would be okay. But truthfully, I was not so sure. I knew getting into this that making money would be difficult. The persevering image of the destitute writer is not lost on me. But, I was convinced that I should follow my dreams. During high school I was published for the first time. A mutual friend of mine was the editor for her mom's website. I submitted something to her and I got paid $25 for a 1000 word blog post about my experience as an immigrant. I was so proud when the check came in the mail. It was proof to me that I could get paid to write and my dad was wrong. I often based the worth on my writing on whether anyone would pay me for it. Rejections hit harder when you see them reflections on the idea that you can't live off your writing, something you have been trying to disprove to both your family and to yourself. This year I published a piece I was very proud of in a college magazine for no money, and while I was happy to write for this publication there was a nagging voice at the back of my head that said, "It's not worth anything if it doesn't make money." Truly a notion that springs from being raised in this late stage capitalist society we are in. But I have decided I am no longer satisfied with that way of thinking. This year I am making an attempt, to not to write for money, but to write in attempt to make something good, that I can be proud of. It will be very difficult for me to shake this ideology that I had for such a long time. Proving my monetary worth is no longer my priority. I hope that through focusing on improvement and crafting writing that I am proud of, then I can improve as a writer in ways I could not before.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
WriterHarriette currently attends Emerson College as an undergraduate student. She dabbles in short stories, nonfiction, and journalism. Archives
July 2020
Categories |